It's been more than a year and I'm still mad at you.
I still get this fear that builds in my chest and then I've to think about something else.
I want to just be filled with love, memories and kindness but maybe the truth is that this fear is a part of me now.
And now I know what it is like to be really mad.
I'm mad at you..
I'm mad at you because I've to be the sole keeper of all our memories..
I'm mad at you because I’ll never forget that day and a half..
I’m mad that after knowing you for two years this is how I got to know more about your family..
I'm mad for all the time I spend analysing everything you ever said..
I'm mad at you because every time I see a tag of “My Bestfriend” I feel a hole where you should be there too..
I’m mad because every time that something that we used to laugh at pops up on my phone, I've nobody to text into..
I'm mad we won’t be in each other's wedding pictures..
I'm mad we won’t share a kennel full of dogs..
I'm mad that stepping and going through that college lane, makes me sad now..
I'm mad you never told me..
I'm mad it wasn't obvious to you how much I wanted to fight this with you..
I'm mad I’ll never know what you went through that night..
I'm mad that maybe, maybe I never knew you..
I'm mad that I can’t stop feeling mad.
But..
Maybe love is every emotion all wrapped into one..
If love can make you happy and sad, it can make you mad too.
I'm mad at you because ILOVEYOU and will always do, and I really really miss you.
And it’s already been a long day without you, my friend and I hope I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.